


Fifty Percent

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Fanfiction, Fifty Percent, Fuck-Me-Stylinson, Harry is quiet, Louis is loud, M/M, Secret Relationship, in the closet, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis didn't belong to Harry; he belonged to Eleanor Calder, his girlfriend of a year and a half. A girl he was happy with, a girl he’d probably go to university with, a girl he’d probably settle down and have kids with. Harry knew he was only a passing phase, soon Louis move on from him, and he had to accept that. He only had half of Louis’ heart. The rest belonged to Louis’ future. And, everything had to be perfect for that, and being some gay icon didn’t fit in that plan. Louis was going to be a professional football player. To be that he had to be a man, he had to have a wife, kids, and be a role model. And, Harry didn't have it in him to ruin that. He loved Louis Tomlinson way too much.</p><p>In this AU, Harry is 16. Louis is 17.<br/>Mature due to smut in later chapters, and violence and language and all that jazz.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

“I love you Hazza.” Louis cooed, rubbing softly at the boy’s bare arms.

Harry cuddled back into Louis’ welcoming grip. Nothing felt better than this, nothing else matter as long as he was resting into the love of his life’s arm. Nothing could touch him. “I love you more, Louis.”

Louis let a feather like kiss hit Harry’s temple.

The moment felt perfect, like it was storybook written and they were two princes who lived ‘happily ever after’. The way the soft wind hit the window, the way the comfy blue blanket wrapped tightly around their half-nude bodies, and the way their breaths matched perfectly in unison…if the world were to end right at that moment, it’d be perfectly okay.

_Buzz._

“That must be-“

“Eleanor, I know.” Harry cut off, feeling a familiar ache in his heart.

Louis let out a sympathetic sigh and rubbed his head into the nook of Harry’s neck. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Harry said, letting a thin smile fall across his lips.

“You know I’d rather-“

“Be with you, yes  _I know_.”

With a small groan Louis stepped out of the queen sized bed and grabbed his khaki trousers from the floor, sliding them on with regrettable ease. Louis always hated this part, the part where he had to leave Harry alone in his bedroom, the part where he could no longer hold him in his grasp. It hurt a lot, and he knew it hurt Harry even more. But, it’s just the way things had to be for now.

“I love you.” Louis said once more before climbing out of the one-story window.




Harry waited until he heard the window close before he let the tears envelope him. He clutched the pillow where Louis once laid and held it close to his body, desperately searching for that same comfort he once had. It was sad, he knew that. It’s just, he _craved_ Louis. Louis was his own personal heroin.

Louis didn’t belong to him; he belonged to Eleanor Calder, his girlfriend of a year and a half. A girl he was happy with, a girl he’d probably go to university with, a girl he’d probably settle down and have  _kids_  with. Harry knew he was only a passing phase, soon Louis move on from him, and he had to accept that. He only had half of Louis’ heart. The rest belonged to Louis’ future. And, everything had to be perfect for that, and being some gay icon didn’t fit in that plan. Louis was going to be a professional football player. To be that he had to be a man, he had to have a wife, kids, and be a role model. And, Harry didn’t have it in him to ruin that. He loved Louis Tomlinson way too much.

_So, they kept it secret._

They’d occasional share a secretive wink in the hallway, a small smile in the middle of class. Everything had to be private.

After all, Louis was the jock, the boy with his heads in the clouds and the world in his back pocket. Harry was the artistic kid with no direction. They couldn’t mix.




_come over? need a good movie night xx_

Harry tapped fast on his phone to his best friend, Niall who he told everything to.

Niall and Harry were always best friends, they did almost everything together. They met in primary school; they both got picked on by the same bully, George Wilkinson. Being two skittish, unathletic boys they were the object of all ridicule. Plus, Niall’s thick accent didn’t help much.

You get close to someone after being hung from a flag pole by your underpants together.

**lover boy left again? Be there soon.**




“Your movie collection seriously sucks.” Niall jabbed, sliding his fingers over the titles. “ _Once_?  _La Vie en Rose_?  _It’s Kind of a Funny Story_? What the fuck even is this?”

“Movies, Niall. They’re movies.” Harry informed sarcastically, “You know, they’re DVD’s that hold footage filmed by a director-“

The irish boy flipped his middle finger, “Fuck off. Ah, Godfather, finally. A _decent_ film!”

Niall and Harry had watched Godfather parts one and two together at least 6,435 times. No exaggeration.




“…And, it just…it kind of bothers me, y’know?” Harry rambled, looking desperately at Niall for recognition.

Niall blinked a few times at the television, then shifted his eyes to Harry’s, “Sorry, were you talking?”

“ _Thanks_.”

Niall shrugged, “Sorry, mate.” The Irish boy flopped against the back of the couch, “I’m guessing this is about Louis.”

Harry nodded and rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s just…It’s annoying you know? Hiding and all…”

“Then don’t hide.” Niall deadpanned, as if it were that simple.

“You know we can’t do that.”

Niall pressed the pause button on the remote, “You know how I feel about it Harry, I think the guy’s a bloody prick for making you his closet case. But, you seem to like him-“

“Love him Niall, _love_.”

“Sorry, _love_ him. So do what makes you happy. I’m not good at all this relationship shit.” Niall said, letting his mouth turn into an over-dramatic frown.

Harry slumped further into the couch, feeling utterly defeated. He had no choice. He couldn’t lose Louis, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how confusing it was, it was all worth it when he was in his arms.

The only person that disliked Louis as much as Niall was Harry’s mum. Anne was a very headstrong, verbal woman. She made sure her opinion was always heard and understood. Harry was her baby boy, no matter how old he got, he was still her baby.

Being Harry’s first love, of course Anne was apprehensive towards Louis. However, when she found out about her son being forced to be in a secretive relationship, it made her form an extreme dislike towards the boy.

“Harry, please just end this.” Anne said entering the living room.

“Thanks for eavesdropping.” Harry said with a sarcastic smile across his face, “Ever heard of privacy?”

Anne just rolled her eyes and joined the two boys on the couch, “I hate seeing you like this, I’m not going to make you stop seeing him.”

“Then don’t.” Harry interrupted.

Niall jabbed Harry in the ribs, “Hear her out, mate.”

“Thank you Niall.” Anne rubbed her hand on Harry’s knee, “What I was saying was, I’m not going to make you stop seeing him, but, I’m just asking you one thing…Is this really worth it? Being used like this? I mean, Harry, you deserve better. So much better.”

“I agree.” Niall jumped in.

Harry sighed hard and crossed his arms, “I’m not being ‘ _used_ ’, alright? Let’s get that straight. Louis loves me, a lot. And, I love him. And, if we have to keep it quiet, that’s fine. End of discussion.”




 

School was always hard for Harry.

He had to pretend everything was okay; he had to ignore Louis and pretend like he meant nothing to him. Having to see Louis in the hallway and having to be completely ignored by him was heart wrenching. He had to pretend that Louis was just a nameless face in a large school, and that killed him.

Harry was relatively quiet during the school day. In fact, if you act a student at random, odds are they hadn’t even heard of the boy.

 _Actually_ , Harry was quite okay with that.

He liked keeping to himself most of the time; he wasn’t one that was good with words. That’s why he loved Louis so much; the hyperactive boy was bold, loud, and bright. Harry was more calm and subdued. Louis, as cheesy as it sounds, was the yin to his yang. Okay, forget that, fuck that was cheesy.

Harry expressed himself with art. Harry moved magically with paints and brushes. It was  _almost_ like the brush was an extension of his own hand. The shy boy was never good with words; he often stuttered and fumbled over them but painting and sketching was his pen and paper, and he was extremely eloquent at that.

“ _Harry.”_ Zayn whispered from behind his easel.

Harry didn’t respond, he was too infatuated with his current piece.

“Haaaaaaaarrryyy.” Zayn repeated.

Okay, maybe Harry was just ignoring him.

“Harold!” Zayn said, in full voice.

Harry crinkled his eyebrows, still ignoring the obviously irritated voice.

“HAROLD.” Zayn said, throwing a paint brush at Harry’s curly mop.

“Malik, hush up! People are trying to work.” The art teacher said, as she returned to her clay.

“Fuck you.” Harry whispered as he rubbed his head.

“Well, if you answered when I first called you, you wouldn’t have a bruise forming on your scalp.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “What do you want, Malik?”

Zayn Malik was an interesting character, he moved to town only a year and a half ago. Of course when he first came to school he was the main topic on everyone’ lips. Dark, mysterious, beautiful, the girls instantly had a field day over him. Of course when everyone realized he was a blatant homosexual they lost interest.

Zayn’s the type that drives motorcycles, but also loves kitties. He smokes a pack a day, but bakes in his free time. He’s just, he’s a freak okay.

“I want to know what’s happening between you and… _you know who_.”

“Dear god, shut up.”

Zayn scoffed as he fixed his quiff, getting a tiny bit of indigo paint in it while doing so. Harry accidentally forgot to tell him about it. “Excuse me for being a decent friend.”

“There’s nothing going on, everything’s the same. If you must know.”

“So you’re not gonna…you know…” Zayn brought his voice to a lower whisper, “Come out soon?”

“No, of course not.” Harry sighed as he shaded his piece with a pencil. “And thank you for jabbing that knife just a tiny bit further in my heart.”

“Sorry.” Zayn shrugged as he returned to his work.

The intercom buzzed softy, a static voice calling from it, “Excuse me, could we have Harry Styles to the dean’s office please?”

“Yes, of course.” The teacher answered, “Harry.” She said as she motioned to the door as the class ‘ooed’

Harry’s core began to shake. Shit, shit, shit. Harry never was in trouble. He had never been in trouble in his life. Not even in grade one when the other kids would smash crayons into the floor. Harry just sat at his miniature desk and read quietly. His hands began to shake as he left the room.

“Hi there!” Louis called, making Harry jump.

Harry turned around to face the boy, “W-wha…how did you?”

“Got some connections in administrations.” Louis spoke proudly as he popped the collar of his shirt.

“Next time, if you wanna hang out, don’t make me have a heart attack. I thought I was gonna get suspended.”

“Why?” Louis said as he walked closer to Harry, “Have you been a _bad_ boy?” he whispered in the shell of Harry’s ear, causing him to shiver.

“Sod off.” The curly haired boy said, shoving him off. “What do’ya want?”

“Come with me.” Louis said as he grabbed the other boy’s hand, dragging him behind.

“Where are we going?” Harry asked, stumbling over his feet.

Louis just smiled blissfully, “we are skipping the rest of the day, that’s what we’re doing.”

 




“I’ve never skipped class before. “ Harry said as they swung on the wooden swing.

Louis had decided it was a brilliant idea to head to the old park down the street from Harry’s home. Because Louis is a child and does things like that.

“Scared you’re gonna get in trouble?” Louis teased as he pinched Harry’s cheeks.

“No!” Harry scoffed and shoved Louis’ hands away, “I was just saying…”

“You’re cute, you know that?”

“You’re delusional.” Harry rolled his eyes, “So, how’s you know…Liam and the gang?”

Fuck, why did Harry ask that? He really doesn’t want to hear about his awesome friends, who have awesome cars, and are just awesome and drink awesome and piss awesome and are awesome.

“They’re good, they’re good. Not nearly as fun as you.”

“Oh yeah, who _else_ would go to a park with you during school hours?”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Louis said as he rested his head into Harry’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too, loser.” Harry spoke as he intertwined their fingers.

Louis nuzzled and hummed quietly, and Harry loves that he does that.

It’s just easy with Louis. Harry and Louis fit together perfectly. Conversations were easy, silence was comfortable, and it was fun. It was safe.

But, it wasn’t permanent. And that fact was stamped in the back of Harry’s mind. It constantly buzzed in his brain. It was the dull ache that never seemed to go away. He pretended like it didn’t mattered, but it did. He wished he could accept the fact that it was casual, and quiet, and private. But, he couldn’t. He wanted so desperately to scream to the world that he loved Louis Tomlinson. He wanted to hold his hand in public, he wanted to go to the winter formal with him, and he wanted to be with him and nothing else.

“You’re thinking again.” Louis murmured. “You think too much.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He said, giving Louis’ hand a squeeze. 


	2. How Harry Learned to Like Tea

                Harry often wondered how such a quiet, shy, sarcastic, strange boy ended up with a guy like Louis. If Harry was a super cheesy bastard he would say it was fate, and they were soulmates. But, Harry is not cheesy, so he doesn’t say it…or think it.

                It was a funny story, really. You know, how Harry and Louis fell together like puzzle pieces. _Again,_ with the cheese. But, that doesn’t change the fact that it was a twist of fate. It’s one of the stories that are made to tell to your grandchildren.

                Louis of course would be the one to tell their theoretical grandchildren the story, while Harry drank a cup of tea and smiled. _Theoretical_ , key word.

                It was the beginning of summer, June 3rd to be exact. Harry finally convinced his mum to take a vacation to London. Harry had never been, and always wanted to go. And, Anne hated big cities. But, once Harry told his mum it would ‘inspire his artwork’ she was searching for the next train ticket. Sure, it was a load of shit, but as it turns out, London inspired him more than he could ever imagine.

                Harry ditched his mum after they checked-in the hotel. He left with nothing but twenty quid in his pocket and his camera bag hanging from his shoulder. So what if he looked like a tourist? He was. So. _Fuck you_.

               

So, he was a little lost. Okay, a _lot_ lost. But, he was producing some amazing work. His film camera was almost filled. He stumbled upon a quaint little park, one with a bridge across a river and large willow trees. That’s when he found him.

                Under the large willow tree was a striking boy. He had a dark gray beanie, a light washed denim jacket, a white v-neck that displayed his perfect collar bones, black trousers cuffed at the ankle, and white converse that were aged with dirt.

                He was _perfect_.

                Harry was awestruck; he couldn’t help but take a few snapshots. For pure artistic reasons only, _obviously_. 1 st snapshot, mystery boy in the right third of the frame, the sunset creating perfect lighting. 2nd shot, close up on the boy, listening to music with headphones resting on his ears. 3rd shot, Harry thought he’d test some lighting. _Flash_. The mystery boy’s blue eyes darted directly towards the lens.  

                Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

                Harry froze with fear, his ears began to burn, and his faced turned a dark cranberry. _Christ_ , Harry thought, _what the fuck do I do_?

                The boy under the tree smirked and placed his headphones around his neck. “If you wanted a picture, you could’ve just asked.” He said, voice scratchy, teasing, and incredibly sexy.

                Fuck.

                Harry bit his lip and fiddled with his fingers, still irreversibly frozen.

                “C’mere.” The boy said, motioning Harry towards him. Harry steamrolled towards him, tripping over his feet along the way.

                “I’m so sorry, I erm, I…I was just, I’m an artist, I was just taking pictures of the scenery. And, you just fit perfectly…Oh _god_ , I’m so sorry.” Harry stammered out, while tugging at his curls.

                “Christ, are you always this uptight? It’s fine. I _am_ pretty beautiful. I know.” The stranger spoke as he rose to meet Harry on his feet, a sly smile spread across his perfect face.

                “God, I feel like an outright stalker.”

                The stranger bit on his lip, “Well, you sorta are.”

                Harry lowered his gaze to his beat up oxfords, too embarrassed to meet the boy’s gaze. His cheeks had never burned this hot before in his life, he was fairly certain he was going to have a flush of red on his skin for the rest of his awkward, horrible life.

                “It’s alright mate, I’m fairly flattered.” The boy spoke as he lightly hit Harry on his shoulder, “I’m Louis, nice t’meet you.” He said, extending an arm.

                “H-Harry.” The shy boy spoke, shaking his hand softly.

                They stood there for a second, just looking at each other, neither one of them quite sure what to say. Some force, atoms, energy, chemistry _, something_ was binding them together. Neither one of them wanted to move.

                “You like tea?” Louis asked spritely.

                Harry shook his head, “Yeah.”

                He lied.

                At the time, Harry truly despised the tea. Thought it was rancid. It was a momentary lapse in judgment on his part, he apologizes.

                “Well, that’s good.” Louis said, grabbing the other boy’s hand, “C’mon there’s a nice shop around the corner.”

 

                Harry couldn’t quite explain, mainly because it had never really happened to him. But, this was easy, the whole talking to Louis thing. It was incredibly easy. It was almost like he knew him for years, as cheesy as it sounds. Screw sounding too cheesy, it was just true.

                “You lit it on fire?” Harry asked, laughter pouring out of his mouth.

                Louis threw up his hands in defense, “At the time it sounded like a good idea!”

                “When is lighting a gas stove on fire ever a good idea?” He spoke while taking a sip from his tea.

                “Well, the stove wouldn’t start so…Stop judging, I was ten!” Louis said as he hit Harry on the arm.

                It had been like this for a good hour and a half, the two of them sharing odd stories of childhood was drinking their beverages. It felt familiar, like they were old friends.

                “So, you live around here?” Harry asked as he fidgeted with his hair.

                “Nope,” Louis spoke in between sips, “I live in Cheshire, my dad lives here. I’m with him for the summer.”

                “I live in Cheshire too, _wow_.”

                “Small world.” Louis said with a bright smile, a smile that Harry thought he could get used to. “So Harry, you said you were an artist. Tell me more, I’m intrigued.” He said as he rested his elbows on the table.

                No one had ever asked Harry about his art, well, besides him mum. But, that doesn’t count. He felt special, and a warm bud started to grow in the pit of his stomach, a stomach that was also cluttered with fluttering butterflies.

“I work mostly with acrylic paint and pencils. I like painting people, y’know portraits and stuff. People kind of inspire me, I don’t know really. But, it’s the little things, a woman clasping a necklace, a man smoking a cigarette, a child jumping rope. It all makes me want to put it on canvas. _Oh_ , I like using greys and blacks, I like how the different shades fit.” Harry gushed as he stared into his orange tea cup, “Sorry, I must be boring you.”

                “No, no! I like hearing about it. It’s a change from what I usually hear. Continue.” Louis said whilst biting on his lip.

                Time began to fly as they share stories of their passions and interest. Harry didn’t want the night to end. He’d never wanted to be with someone so badly.

                Harry looked down at his leather watch, “ _Christ_ , half past nine. I should probably head back to my hotel.” He said as he rose to his feet.

                “Damn, guess our night will be cut short.” Louis said, as he stood. “Nice meeting you, Harry.” He said, extending his arm once again.

                “You too, Louis.” Harry said, shaking his hand with a smile. “It’s weird, I don’t want to say goodbye.” He spoke, instantly covering his mouth with his hands. “Sorry.”

                Louis just laughed, “I feel the same way…Here!” He said as he pulled a pen from the cashier’s counter. “Here’s my number.”

                Harry just smiled as his arm began getting stenciled by the pen. “So, does that mean we’ll do this again sometime?”

                “Are you asking me on a date, Harry?” Louis said with a smirk.

                The curly headed boy’s face grew red once again, “No, I mean, erm. Sorry, I was just thinking…sorry.”

                “You think too much.”  

                “I know, I know. Sorry.”

                Louis smiled once again, “’S okay. It’s kind of cute.”

 

                They met like that every single day of the trip, meeting at the same tea shop. It was weird; Harry began enjoying the taste of the warm beverage. _Maybe_ it was because the only time he had it was when he was with Louis, it was something they shared. Something special that Harry only did with him.

                Harry had a strange twist in his stomach on the final night of his vacation, this would be the final night they would see each other. And that sucked, a lot. _Obviously_.

                It was almost abnormal how attached Harry started becoming to Louis. It had only been four days and they’ve been acting like lifelong friends. They finished each other sentences, and already had about twenty inside jokes.

                “So, today’s your last day in London?” Louis asked as they sat under the willow tree.

                Harry made a small nod, “I don’t want to leave, London’s a lot better than Cheshire.”

                “Plus there’s me.” Louis said with a small jab to the ribs.

                Harry rolled his eyes, “You sure do have a big ego.”

                They both laughed, it was bittersweet, really. They enjoyed being together, but that small sinking feeling that this would be the last time they’d see each other began to set in.

                “Maybe when I get back home we can visit or something?” Louis said with a warm smile.

                “Are you asking me on a date?” Harry said, mocking the famous quote that Louis spoke four days earlier.

 

                “Oh sod off.” Louis said as he flipped his middle finger, “I just know that I’m pretty amazing, it’s hard to quit me cold turkey.”

                “Again with the ego. You must be compensating for something else, eh?” Harry joked as he winked.

                Harry didn’t know what had come over him during this break. He’d never been so daring and outgoing before. It was something that Louis brought out of him, and Harry started to believe that he liked it.

                Louis smirked, “Trust me, my dear Harold, my ego is just as big as my dic-“

                Okay, when Louis tells their theoretical grandchildren this story, they’ll forget to tell this part.

                They stayed like this for a few hours, just talking under the willow tree until night began to fall. The small sinking feeling began to grow larger and larger by each passing minute.

                “I should probably head back, I guess. It’s getting late.” Harry regrettably said as he checked the time on his phone.

                Louis made a dramatic frown, “So soon?”

                “I got an early train tomorrow.” He said as he ran his fingers through his curls.

                “Well, let me at least walk you to your hotel.”

               

                The walk was silent, neither of them really knowing what to say. It was all so confusing. How could two people become attached so quickly? It was like they were children that met on a playground and were instantly best friends.

                When they arrived to the entrance of the hotel, Harry’s heart began to beat quickly, like a fucking race horse.

                “Well, this is me.” He spoke, voice shaking.

                Louis just nodded, “I’ve had fun, you know, getting to know you and all.”

                “Oh shucks, you sure know how to make a guy feel special.” Harry said with a small giggle.

                “Well…” Louis said as bit his lip.

                “Well…” Harry echoed.

                “You’re gonna make me initiate it, aren’t ya?” The bold boy said, a sly smile spreading across his face.

                “W-what are you talking ab-“

                Harry didn’t have time to finish his sentence, because before he knew it. Lips met lips, and _holy mother of fucking god holy shit fuck god damn_. Harry never thought it would happen, the whole ‘first kiss’ thing. He always thought he was too gangly and awkward for anyone to be attracted to him, but damn. DAMN.

                The kiss was soft at first, light, fresh and slightly dry. But, then Louis reached up and grabbed a handful of Harry’s curls and everything changed.

                With a soft groan, Louis slipped his tongue inside the shy boy’s mouth, licking softly, exploring all the crevasses of mouth.

                So, maybe Harry whimpered a bit at the feeling. So what? Who cares? And maybe when Louis bit down on Harry’s bottom lip Harry shivered a bit. And, maybe when Louis sucked ever so nicely on that lip Harry’s hips involuntarily jerked into the other boy’s.

                With a soft smirk Louis pulled away from Harry’s reddened lips, “Nice to meet you, Harry.”

                Harry tried to talk, he really did, but his mouth couldn’t formulate any words. “buh…” He said softly, as his cheeks turned red.

                Louis giggled, he fucking giggled like a tween girl. “See you around.”

                And, with that he was gone. And maybe Harry checked out his bum as he walked away.

 

                And that was it.

Or so Harry Styles thought.

 

The rest of summer was uneventful and boring. Harry spent the lot of it painting various scenes from the week in London. His favorite piece the one with Louis under the willow.

 

School started without a hitch, as usual. Harry was for the most part invisible to the human eye. And, yes he liked it that way. His schedule was decent, Art first, Maths, Literature, then Chemistry.

Harry had never been so thankful for Chemistry in his life.

Maybe it was just him being lonely. Or, maybe it was just him missing the taste of Louis’ lips. But, he could have sworn the mysterious boy, who gave him his first kiss was sitting next to Eleanor Calder in his Chemistry class.

Harry pulled out his phone and sent a text message, it was crazy. There was no possible way that it was his Louis. No way.

_um, this might be stupid but r u in chemistry at  Cheshire Academy????_

And, the Harry’s heart stopped. Because the boy pulled out his phone. Harry had to hold back a squeal, as the boy’s eyes scanned the classroom.

Blue eyes met green and Harry swears that the world stopped for a while.

Harry waved, he fucking waved. What an idiot.

Louis’ eyes went wide and bit his lip. And then he left the room, telling the teacher he was heading to the rest room.

_After school, meet me on the pitch._

Harry read the text and had to bit his lip to hide his smile. Immediately he went to text Niall.

_HOLY FUCKING SHIT, SUMMER BOY GOES TO SCHOOL HERE._

It was only a matter of seconds before he responded.

_Looks like some1s gonna get laid._

 

The rest of the day could not past any quicker. Harry’s mind couldn’t stop racing. How could it be? How just, it didn’t seem possible. All Harry knew was that he needed to kiss that perfect boy once again.

So, when the bell rang it took Harry about 10.6 seconds for him to run to the football pitch. He was there before Louis was, so he tossed his rucksack to the ground and began to pace back and forth. His mind raced over everything that happened during that wonderful vacation, and he thought about that kiss in excruciating detail, a kiss he’d thought about every night when he…well, you know.

(Again, that was something he’d leave out in the whole ‘telling grandchildren how your grandparents’ met’ thing.)  

Then Louis slowly walked onto the pitch, and Harry’s heart may have literally skipped a beat…or three.

“Hey there.” Harry said quietly, before biting down on his bottom lip.

But, Louis looked uncomfortable and uneasy, “H-Hi.” He muttered.

“Long time no see.” Harry said meekly, feeling the tension in the air.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Louis spoke with wide eyes.

Harry shrugged, and smiled awkwardly, “Well, I am. How did school not come up when we were talking before?”

“I don’t know.” Louis said, truly disbelieved.

“Well…” Harry said fumbling with his thumbs, “Now what?”

“I have a girlfriend.” Louis said, eyes closed, embarrassed.

Harry felt a jab in his stomach, “W-what?”

“I’m dating Eleanor.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“Were you dating here when you…”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought I was never gonna see you again.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

Louis looked down at his feel, “I never stopped thinking about you, Harry.”

Harry’s breath hitched, “Me either.” He almost whispered.

“I don’t want this to end.”

Harry shrugged, feeling defeated, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I’m so sorry, I know, I’m an outright dick to do this to you.”

“You were my first kiss.” Harry blurted out, instantly regretting it.

Louis exhaled sharply, and looked down at his feet, “I was?”

“Yup.”

“Shit.” Louis sighed, “I like you a lot, Harry. I really do.”

“So…What does that mean?”

Louis shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“You have a girlfriend.”

“I do.”

“Are you gay?”

“I dunno.”

Harry was taken aback. Part of him was telling him to leave, and pretend like this never happened. To keep what happened in the summer as a memory and nothing more. But, the other half had Louis standing right in front of him, and he just wanted to taste his lips again.

“I don’t want whatever we are…to end.”

Louis folded his arms, “What exactly are we?”

“I’m not sure.”

Blue eyes meet green once again, and the world stopped.

And then they kissed. Hard and furious. Hands explored up and down each other’s bodies, it felt like fire. It was white hot. They had just as much drive and passion as the first time, if not more.

Harry was the first to pull away, awestruck.

“I gotta go.” Harry said as he grabbed his backpack and ran away.

 

Harry shut his front door and sunk down it, breathing heavily, his mind racing with everything that had happened today.

“You okay, honey?” Anne asked with an eyebrow cocked.

Harry inhaled sharply and released it, “Fine, I’m fine.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay, I’m here if you need me.” Anne said returning to the kitchen.

Anne really shouldn’t be so trusting.

 

He sat in his bed, curled up in a ball, utterly confused.

_louis has a girlfriend_

Harry texted quickly on his iphone.

Niall was always reliable. The only time he was ‘busy’ was when he was eating…which was a lot, but even then Harry could force him into talking.

_screw him, hook up with zayn_

Harry smiled a bit and replied

_ew._

_Knock, knock._

Harry looked over to his window, and there stood Louis with a bright smile on his face. The curly haired boy walked over to the window and opened it with ease. “Wha…What are you…How do you know where I live?”

“Got connections in Administration at school.” Louis said with a smirk, “Can I come in?”

“You could of used the front door.” Harry said as he moved to let Louis crawl in.

“But, then I’d have to meet your mum, and we aren’t that far in our relationship.”

“Relationship? What relationship? You have a girlfriend.”

Louis smiled proudly, “I have an idea.”

Harry sat down on his bed and rested his head on his hands, “explain.”

“Just, don’t freak out on me.” Louis said as he began to pace. “I like you a lot. Like I said, I never stopped thinking about you. But, I can’t end things with El, I mean, it’s complicated. _Really_ complicated. But, you’re amazing. Look, I’m not in love with Eleanor. She’s a friend. But you…you’re something amazing. Something special.”

The green eyed boy frowned, “What are you asking me to do?”

“You’re gonna thinking I’m an arsehole, but I’m just going to go for it. I want to be with you, and if you would be willing to keep it a secret…”

Harry’s heart sped quickly; he couldn’t keep his eyes off Louis. He didn’t know what to say. His heart and head were saying a million different things. But overall, he knew one thing. He wanted to be with Louis Tomlinson (he found out his last name after he looked into last year’s yearbook), he wanted to be with him no matter what.

“I’ll do it.”

“You will?” Louis said, beaming.

“I will.” Harry said as he rested a hand on Louis cheek, slowly sinking in for a familiar kiss. 


	3. Touch Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> play touch me from spring awakening for this chapter sorry
> 
>  
> 
> i'm not good at smut

                Harry and Louis had been together for quite some time now. Six months and ten days to be exact. And they were very happy. Although their time spent together was quick and chaste it meant something every time. It had purpose and truth. They were each other’s rocks, their anchors. They were closer and more open than most couples. And they weren’t even public, _hell._

                However, physically they were rather…well…vanilla. The furthest being half naked make out sessions, or the occasional grope of the bulge over clothes. Yes, they cared deeply for each other. And they did in fact love each other. But when it came to showing it by action, they were often stuck. It was complicated, really.               

                Harry knew how hard this was for Louis. This was all very new and very strange to him. Not in a bad way, but…well, again, it was complicated. It’s not that Louis was _inexperienced_ ; he had sex plenty of times. It was just…all females. Harry, of course was a huge virgin, but that was beside the point. But that didn’t mean he was any less ready to cross that barrier with Louis.

                But, Louis wasn’t ready to make that step. And Harry had to be okay with that.

               

                “So, you’re telling me you two haven’t fucked yet?” Niall said, shoving crisps in his mouth.          

                Harry pressed his fingers to his lips as he looked around the lunch room, “ _Shh_ , people might hear you.”

                Zayn’s eyes went really wide with disbelief, “Wait a minute. You’re telling me that after six fucking months, you have done the deed. Not even once?”

                “We’re just…taking things a bit slow.” Harry said meekly.             

                “Slow? What are you? A bunch of snails?” Niall said as he loaded more crisps in his mouth.

                “Didn’t your mum ever tell you it’s rude to talk with your mouth full?” Harry said before he took a sip from his diet coke, “It’s just hard for him.”

                “Not as hard as you must be.” Zayn chortled, earning a high five from Niall.

                “Okay, it sucks. A lot.” Harry sighed, “But, you know, he isn’t the most comfortable with you know…being with a bloke yet. So, I’m waiting for him to make the first move.”

                Niall cocked an eyebrow, “That prick. So let’s get this straight… He pays no attention to you in public. He makes you hide your relationship. He has a fucking _girlfriend_ , who quite frankly, is probably fucking every day. And he hasn’t even sucked you off?  What kind of fucked up shit is this?”

                “Wait? He has sex with Eleanor? That’s fucked up.” Zayn announced.

                Harry rolled his eyes, “So what if he fucks Eleanor? It doesn’t mean his loves her. He loves me.”

                “He just can’t show it.” Niall deadpanned, “We know, we know.”

                “Don’t be rude.” Harry said with a smirk. “You haven’t even kissed anyone.”

                Niall’s eyes went wide as he flipped up his middle finger, “You promised not to tell anyone!”

                Zayn barked with laughter as he gripped his aching stomach, “Fucking hell. Niall, that’s sad.”

                Harry stuck out his tongue and smiled, “That’s what you get for being mean.”

               

                “How do I look?” Anne said while spinning around. “Do I look ready for my date?”

                Anne was a lovely woman who didn’t have much luck with men. Harry’s birth father walked out on the family once he was born, and his first step father was quite abusive to the entire family. She always tried to make life better for her children, always looking for ‘Mr.Right’. However the men that came into her life all seem to leave as soon as they got in too deep for their liking. But, nonetheless she tried. She put on a brave face in her elegant red cocktail dress, complete with black heels and her hair pulled in an up-do.

                Harry smiled warmly, “You look lovely, mum.”

                “Thank you, honey.”

                “So, who’s the loser tonight?” Harry said as he smirked.

                “Hey, be nice young man.” Anne spoke as she rested a hand on her hip. “He happens to be a very nice man, he’s a _lawyer_.” She said, beaming with pride.

                “Good for you.”

                “Thank you.” Anne gave Harry a quick hug and a kiss on the top of his hair, “I shouldn’t be home too late, we’re going dancing. But, don’t wait up, okay?”

                “Okay mum, have fun.” Harry smiled brightly, he loved his mum and he wanted the best for her.

                With that she left the two bedroom apartment and Harry was alone. Which, of course he liked. It gave him time to think and work on his artwork. He’s current piece being Louis, sleeping without his shirt on. Possibly the most beautiful sight Harry had ever laid his eyes on. He delicately shaded the curve of his body with the soft charcoal with a bright smile.

                It was moments like these where he got to sit back and think about how lucky he truly was. He found such an intense love as such a young age, a thing some people search all their lives for. Hell, His mum was still looking for it to this day. And he had it, even if it was just a passing phase in someone’s life. He had it.  

                He was happy.

                He continued shading as he heard a gentle knock on his window.

                _Louis._

                He smiled to himself as he looked upon the boy with disheveled hair; he quickly opened the window and let him in.

                “I still don’t understand why you don’t you use the front door.” Harry said with a wide grin.

                Louis smirked as he folded his arms, “This is more dangerous and romantic.” He spoke with a small slur.               

                Suddenly the stench of pot smoke filled the room, and the smell of alcohol lay on top of it. Louis didn’t smoke or drink often, and when he did it was at parties or events. _Never casually_. It confused Harry to say the least.

                “Are you drunk?”

                Louis nodded slightly, “And baked like a cake.”

                Harry sighed and ruffled his fingers through his hair, “Oh, Louis.”

                “Just thought I’d have a bit of fun tonight,” Louis spoke as he crept closer to his lover.

                “Louis…” Harry whispered, unsure of the current situation.

                Suddenly a warm hand was pressed upon the boy’s face. Louis looked at him like he was his prey. Like he belonged to him. “You’re beautiful, Harry.” He spoke slow and precise.

                “Louis…” Harry echoed one more.

                Louis smirked slightly, eyes red from the effects of his actions, “Just relax.”

                The tension in the room was thick, Harry suddenly felt hot under his collar. He wasn’t sure of his the situation, but he knew he wanted to touch Louis. He wanted to feel him everywhere, and feel his own skin against his.

                The kiss was rough and heavy. Mouths coming together harshly, hands exploring and roaming each other’s bodies. Louis was the first one to slip his tongue in the kiss. Suddenly clothes were all too much and too warm, and they needed out of them.

                Louis quickly unbutton Harry’s white button up, letting it fall to the floor swiftly. He smiled devilishly as he roamed the exposed skin with his fingers, gripping the boy’s hips and pulling him against his chest. “So, _so_ beautiful.” He said as if it were a secret.

                Louis’ shirt followed suit and they stood there for a second, looking each other’s skin. Awestruck.

                “Please, Louis. I need you.” Harry whispered.

                And then they feel on the queen sized bed, kissing each other passionately. Louis hands found their way to the button of Harry’s jeans, he unbuttoned them quickly and shoved them off and discarding them on the floor, pulling the boy’s briefs off as well.

                “Wow.” He moaned as he scanned the man’s body.

                Harry felt wildly exposed, but he loved it. Being on display for his boyfriend. He felt whole.

                “You’re so fit.” Louis spoke roughly as he attached his mouth to Harry’s neck.

                Harry let out a soft whimper and gripped Louis’ hair, “God, _Louis_.”

                Louis sucked harshly on the crook of the flushed boy’s neck, marking him as his own. He pulled away and removed his remaining clothes. He bit his lip before he planted his lips to Harry’s once more.

                Harry had enough, he needed Louis. He need to feel the pulse of his cock in his mouth, he wanted to feel the weight of it on his tongue. “Can I suck you off?” He asked, voice shaking with anticipation.

                The other boy moaned and nodded quickly as he flipped on his back, “Please, Harry. Please.”

                Harry didn’t break eye contact as he pulled back Louis’ foreskin, licking it from base to tip. He smirked slightly as he heard Louis moan harshly. He felt proud he could earn the noise so easily. With one brisk movement he took Louis’ entire length in his mouth, letting it slip down his throat with only some minor gagging.

                “Fuck Harry, don’t stop.” Louis begged as he gripped Harry’s curls.

                He loved how aggressive Louis was, how badly he wanted Harry. He yearned for it. He knew he needed more, this wasn’t enough. He needed to be inside Louis. And he needed immediately. “Please Louis, can I?”

                Louis eyes went wide and he nodded quickly. “Please Harry, please.”

                Harry made sure he properly prepared Louis, slowing adding fingers one by one, earning whines of pleasure from the other boy. Louis was so warm and so tight, he needed it so badly. His dick was practically aching to get inside of him.

                “There’s a condom in my trouser pocket.”

                Harry smirked, “You planned this. You cocky bastard”

                Louis smiled cheekily, “Just hurry up already.”

                Harry pulled the condom from the pocket and ripped it open with his teeth, sliding it down his shaft with ease. “You ready?”

                Louis only nodded as he straddled Harry’s lap. He took a deep breath as he lowered himself down Harry, not breaking eye contact. It ached, but it was a glorious ache. It felt so natural, having Harry inside of him. It was like he belonged there. He slowly shifted his hips moving up and down. “Fuck.” He moaned softly.

                Harry looked up at Louis, eyes wide searching for approval. “Are you okay?”

                Louis nodded once again, softly. His faced concentrated, eyes closed. He began to move faster, bobbing up and down. “Oh, god,” he whined, arching his back.

                “Louis, you’re so beautiful. Christ, you’re amazing,” he chanted compliments; he wanted Louis to know just how much he loved him and how perfect he was.

                “Fuck me, _please_.” Louis groaned from the back of his throat.

                Harry began to buck into him harshly, going deeper each time. He couldn’t describe the feeling if he tried. It was like ecstasy. It was magic. And he never wanted it to end. He never knew something so simple could be so perfect.       

                Louis began to moan louder, muttering nonsense. “Jesus _, harder_.”

                They fell in a rhythm, meeting each other’s hips and echoing each other’s moans. They fit like puzzle pieces.

                Harry began to feel the pit in his stomach growing bigger and bigger, he knew he couldn’t last much longer, as much as he wanted to. “God, I’m so close Lou.”

                “Me too, oh Hazza. Fucking hell.” Louis spoke as he began to jerk himself off rapidly.

                Like a cue they came in unison, screaming each other’s name. Louis slowly pulled off of Harry and fell next to him, both of them panting, completely spent.

                Then it happened, and it hit Harry like a ton of bricks.

                Louis began to sob uncontrollably. His whole body shook with sadness and guilt. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

                Harry looked at Louis with regret in his eyes, “Lou, _Lou_ listen to me you have nothing to be sorry about. What…What’s wrong?”

                Louis just shook his head, “I just…I can’t.” Louis stood and quickly pulled on his clothes, “I got to go. I’ll see you at school. I’m sorry.”

                Then Louis was gone, and Harry was utterly confused. He felt guilty. Did he hurt Louis? Did he do something terrible to him? His heart ached and he clutched his pillow next to him.

                Then he realized.            

                Louis was drunk and high, he had to be. He had to be both drunk and high to be with Harry, sexually. Harry felt both angry and utterly heart broken. He wasn’t quite sure what it all meant, he just knew that he couldn’t stop crying no matter how hard he tried.

                He slowly got up, walked to his bathroom and turned on the shower. He slid in and sunk to the floor, clutching his knees and burying his face between them, the sound of the water hitting his back covered the sound of his sobs. His whole world began to crumble.

 

                It became a routine. Louis would get drunk or high and sneak into Harry’s room. They would have mind blowing sex then Louis would cry. Sometimes he would let Harry hold him, other times he would run home. It hurt, but it was them.

 

                Soon it was hard for them to even look at each other; they grew more and more distant. They wouldn’t sneak out from school anymore. They would send cute texts. They wouldn’t joke. They barely even spoke. They would just have sex and then Louis would cry, and then leave. It turned their world upside down and Harry wasn’t quite sure they could recover from it. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. If you didn't, i apologize. You can find updates and character asks on my blog, fuck-me-sytlinson.tumblr.com


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